Sometimes we don’t realize how much our nervous system has changed until life throws us something completely unexpected.
Mine happened on what should have been a simple bus ride home from Austin.
Because I had work to do, I decided to let the bus driver take me to Austin. I was travelling to see my father and stepmom who were staying with my brother. Bonus that I got to see my daughter, Abby!
First bus ride- so slightly anxious but looking forward to my work instead of driving. All went well and I enjoyed time with my family! Then…
Saturday evening pretty late, I received an email that my return bus ride in the morning was cancelled. They would be providing me with an Uber to return me to Frisco, my drop off point. Hmmm.
I was instructed to call them in the morning to book the Uber. Oh no, not me. I immediately called with questions. Was I travelling alone, was there another bus, and is this for real?
I was assured this was just what they do, and there were 9 other passengers, and they would get us SUVs to take us in the morning.
However, I would have to call in the morning. I could feel my nervous system going into high alert, but was able to feel the tension and let it pass easily through. I could handle this in the morning.
Which I did. Same recorded menu selections but after a few minutes waiting, “I am sorry. We are unable to take your call at this time. Please call back later.”
From 7 am to 9 am this is the message I heard over and over. Meanwhile, I received a text confirming my bus ride and tracking location of my bus. Ok. Maybe they got another bus and we are good to go.
Abby takes me to the bus stop where NO ONE IS.
Finally someone answers the phone and proceeds to schedule me an Uber. By myself! From Austin to Frisco! About this time a family arrives wondering where their Uber this company has “booked for them” is. I am super suspicious and not going to do this. So I request my money back and begin looking for flights.
Abby suggests I use her mileage and she begins to schedule online from her old phone in the middle of Austin. She couldn’t get the miles to count but booked me a flight to Dallas anyway.
I have to pick up Elizabeth from her dad’s by 5 pm that day.
I could feel my body shifting into stress. One, can I get back home? Two, Abby is stressed about getting me a ticket. Three, I do not have the money for this. Four, Mom has never driven to DFW before.
This is when I am so grateful that I have done the work with my nervous system. I could feel my chest tighten and my mind swirling into hyperdrive, but I didn’t have to follow it. I knew I could let the sensations move through instead of letting them take over.
It is Father’s Day and World Cup activities so the airport is very crowded and flights have been delayed. As I finally finish all the procedures and have a sit at my gate, I again notice my sensations throughout my body.
I notice my hands shaking for the first time and give a bit of a chuckle. Abby had picked up a coffee for me and did not realize that I don’t drink that much caffeine anymore.
Years ago this would have looked very different. My thoughts would have started racing. I would have tried to control everything around me. I probably would have snapped at Abby or the customer service representative, or spent the rest of the day with a headache and an upset stomach.
Instead, I noticed what was happening inside my body. I let myself feel frustrated without trying to fight it or pretend it wasn’t there. I reminded myself that this situation was inconvenient—not dangerous.
Mom did a new thing, and we made it with five minutes to spare before I picked up Elizabeth.
The flight wasn’t the victory.
The victory was that I got to enjoy the rest of my day.
Before, this would have followed me home.
My nervous system wasn’t running the show anymore.
That is the work I do now.
I don’t help women eliminate stress. None of us can do that.
I help moms learn to recognize what’s happening inside their bodies so stress no longer gets to make their decisions for them.
Because the way we respond to everyday stress doesn’t just shape our health. It shapes our marriages.
It shapes our parenting.
And those ordinary moments—when life doesn’t go according to plan—are often the moments our children remember most.